Friday, May 7, 2010

Monument Valley & Arches National Park

Spent yesterday driving to and touring Monument Valley, ended up in Bluff for the night and then drove to Arches National Park today.  To be clear, when I say "touring" Monument Valley, I mean being driven around the rock formations for 3 hours while my mother tried to get our drunk Navajo guide to give up the goods about how Monument Valley was essentially just a big amusement park built and maintained for the benefit of tourists. The conversation went something like this: "So, who built these?" "Nobody man, it was like God just dropped them here. Boom! tee hee hee... Voila! Voila!" "No, but I mean who formed them?" "It was like nature and god and the spirits and stuff. tee hee hee... Voila! Voila!" "uh huh, okay, so who maintains them now?" "Nobody I guess, except when we pray to the spirits to be protecting them 'n' stuff. tee hee hee... Voila! Voila!" "Okay, so you're telling me, nobody comes out here to maintain them? To make sure they keep their shapes?" "Nobody man! It's like Voila! tee hee hee..." This pretty much went on for 3 hours, with brief pauses in the interrogation when our guide would spontaneously burst into song, followed my a fit of laughter and capped off with a "Voila!"

Monument Valley: coffee pot, tea pot and sugar bowl. tee hee hee... Voila! Voila!

Monument Valley: John Ford's Point. From here he directed John Wayne (and others) in the wash below.  He directed seven westerns in Monument Valley.

Mexican Hat Rock, outside Mexican Hat en route from Monument Valley to Bluff

Arches Nat'l Park: Balanced Rock

 
Delicate Arch through some other arch along the way (not positive that's its official name, but wouldn't be surprised if it is. Whoever named the arches, really wasn't trying to hide the ball.)

Delicate Arch

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Painted Desert & Grand Canyon

Drove from Albuquerque to the Grand Canyon yesterday with a detour through the Painted Desert.  Delighted to report that my mother was making "friends for the east" all the way.  Wasn't totally sure what was going on when she started a whole conversation with the clerk at the truck stop about whether it was too much trouble to give her the 93 cents change that was coming to her and offered to go out to the car and get some change to make his job easier.  When we walked outside and I asked her what that was all about, she looked at me like I was a little slow and explained, "I'm showing him some east coast manners. I'm making friends for the east!"  Can't wait until dinner tonight---if all goes according to plan, our waiter will be a "friend of the east" by the time our entrees are served. Just passing on some pics because I know some of you (particularly the ones trying to live vicariously through me) are a little bit hooked on them and get a little antsy when I don't share enough. I won't mention any names.

The Painted Desert

The Painted Desert

The Painted Desert

Grand Canyon-Hiking the Kaibab Trail

Grand Canyon-Near Yaki Point

Grand Canyon-Hiking the rim from Pipe Creek to Mather Point

Monday, May 3, 2010

Marfa: Lawlessness with an Emphasis on Fashion Makes a Comeback

Where to begin? I left Marathon yesterday morning and headed down into Big Bend via 385, spent the day driving all over the park, hopping out for a couple of hikes, then left the park and headed toward Marfa on 118, until I saw two Shelby Cobra kit cars parked on the side of the road and two guys waving at me. Turns out they just wanted to let me know how much they liked my car and after a quick chat, they had me retracing my steps to find the "River Road" (aka 170 west out of Study Butte) which was the most amazing road I have ever driven on in my life. Impossible to describe all the ups and downs and twists and turns, but if you drive it, you will never forget it.

When I finally got to Marfa, I had just checked into my hotel when a group of recreational bikers (all high powered professionals in the real world) who were drinking their troubles away at the bar (one had blown a tire and one had gotten a ticket for 91 in a 70) said hi because they recognized my car, which they had seen that morning in Marathon and later on the River Road.  After trading tales about the tickets and warnings we had racked up that weekend, they invited me to join them for dinner so I could teach them how to talk their way out of it the next time one of them got pulled over doing 110 in an 80.  Little did we know that I would give one of them a real live demonstration later that night. You ask for an inch, I give you a mile.

In my defense, I hadn’t had a hit of lawlessness with an emphasis on fashion since I left New Orleans and the odds of finding a fashionista drag queen to entertain me with her lawless ways in Marfa were slim to none.  So . . . after dinner, in my very sharp Porsche racing jacket that I was getting compliments on all night (emphasis on fashion) and “feeling no pain”, as my mother would say, I thought I should treat this guy I was driving back to the hotel to a little ten second joyride in my car because he was just so excited to be sitting in it.  Having just waited for the cop outside the restaurant to leave before we fired up our engines for the trip back to the hotel, I was thinking the coast was clear because I’ve only been seeing about one cop a day since I hit Texas. That right there was what we call an “incorrect assumption.” Yes, indeed. 

One of my new friends from this crew, we’ll call him N, described what happened next like this: “I just heard the deafening roar of an engine and when I turned to see what was going on, I saw those sexy taillights rocketing down the road,” (which in my defense was empty) “and then I saw a huge shower of sparks, then another huge shower of sparks and then I saw the (sirens sound effect accompanied by circling index finger in the air-the universal sign for sirens) tearing down the road after you and I was like F***, we’re totally gonna have to go bail her out.”  Ah, dear sir, you underestimate me.  For those of you wondering why the showers of sparks, turned out the road we were flying across at this empty intersection (where there was no stop sign, just a yield sign and nobody to yield to) was about a foot higher than the road we were on, so we bottomed out pretty violently twice-once on the way up and once on the way down-since I have about 4 inches of clearance.

I won’t lie. I was a little nervous when the cop standing behind my car with his hand on his gun was shouting “Driver! Out of the Car!” But after I got out and apologized profusely and assured him several times that I had not been drinking, he calmed down.  When he went back to his car to decide what to do with me, my passenger, a personal injury lawyer from San Antonio, started softly coaching me from his seat, “You’re doin’ good, you’re doin’ great, don’t admit anything and don’t take any tests . . . oh, and you’re on TV right now.”  Fabulous.  When the cop came back and asked me once more if I was sure I hadn’t been drinking, I told him I was “positive,” to which he replied, “okay, then here’s what I’m gonna do . . .” I thought he was going to say he was just going to arrest me for felony reckless driving because of my speed, but instead he said, “I’m gonna issue you a citation for failure to yield.”  For real.

Needless to say, when I magically appeared back at the hotel instead of ending up in jail, the guys (who had watched this all go down from afar) were blown away and started buying me pints of my favorite bourbon to celebrate while my passenger gave them the blow-by-blow on how I had talked my way down to a failure to yield.  He just kept looking at me and shaking his head with this huge smile on his face and saying, “you are somethin’ else, that was incredible.”  Finally, with the shock wearing off I wondered out loud, “how did I not even get a speeding ticket out of that?” N burst out laughing and said, “Ketch, you were going so fast, they didn’t even know what the hell was going on until about 3 seconds after the flying ball of sparks had passed them.  By the time it occurred to them to turn on the radar, you were already pulled over down the road because you were pissed about bottoming out.” 

Then he added, “and you owe that woman you met tonight dinner.  If you hadn’t stopped drinking because of her, there is no way you could have pulled that sh*t off.  Indirectly, that woman saved your ass.”  That woman was Leisha Hailey (actress/musician, probably most well known for her role as Alice on the L word), who I realized after our first round of drinks was sitting one table over at the restaurant where we were having dinner.  At first, I just noticed her because she was the prettiest woman in the room and didn’t realize who she was because I’ve been living under a rock for the last nine years.  After a few minutes of trying to figure out why I thought I knew her, I realized who she was and that not only was this woman beautiful, but also a successful, talented, out lesbian---a very tricky thing to find.  I couldn’t pass up the chance to meet a girl with so much going on, but having been drinking on an empty stomach for a while, thought it would be best if I stopped drinking so I could introduce myself without slurring (I try to keep my goals attainable).  We did chat briefly after I had about an hour of water drinking under my belt and now I am very much hoping to hear from her (a) because I owe her dinner and (b) because I may need a friend to bail me out in LA. 

I am in Albuquerque now and picking my mother up at the airport in the morning, then setting off for the Grand Canyon and all the parks in Utah.  If I seem a little lazy on the blogging front over the next week, it’s because I’m entertaining my mother like there is no tomorrow. 


Northern Entrance to Big Bend on Rt 385

Driving between Panther Junction and the Rio Grande Village in Big Bend

Boquillas Canyon Overlook (overlooking the Rio Grande) in Big Bend (named after the big bend the Rio Grande makes around this part of Texas)

The two Shelby Cobra kit cars on Rt 118

the River Road

the River Road

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Austin to Marathon

Just arrived in Marathon and trying to get to the only restaurant in this one horse town for dinner before it closes, but just wanted to share some pics from today. The quick recap:

Last night in Austin I saw the Blues Specialists (best music of the night) at the Continental Club, had a couple great drinks at the San Jose, then hit Stubbs to experience what many say is the best barbecue in Austin (and it was pretty delicious) and The Dead Weather (generally forgettable, but Alison Mosshart's voice sounded great) who were playing there, then headed back to the Continental to catch Those Darlins (if you've never heard them, think 5 year olds who got a hold of their parents pots and pans and are banging on them relentlessly while screaming at the top of their lungs-after four songs my ears were in so much pain I actually had to leave-a first).

Today, I headed out to hill country west of Austin and had the most fun I have had driving this whole trip. The roads just wind up, down and all around like an amazing rollercoaster ride that goes on for as long as you want it to.  Also, the roads were lined with an incredible variety of beautiful wildflowers, just a phenomenal driving experience.  I hit Salt Lick BBQ in Driftwood for some great barbecue, then made my way up to Fredericksburg (basically a German town just dropped in the middle of Texas) and then hauled as fast as I could to Marathon, so I can head into Big Bend Nat'l Park tomorrow.  Highlights of the day: broke 140 5 times, got pulled over doing 110 in an 80 and let off with a warning and met a really nice pack of harley riders who asked me to ride with them and even offered to take me to a great tattoo guy they know where they suggested that I get the image of my Porsche tattooed on my shoulder.  Next time . . .

The Salt Lick-famous for a reason

And you're sure it's the "World's Best" . . . because 35 people told you it was . . . over how many years?

A little installation art somewhere in hill country

Wildflowers

Broke 140 four times on this stretch of 290 between Fredericksburg and I-10

Took this somewhere off I-10 while the cop wrote up my warning...don't think the guy using me as a human sacrifice (who was also pulled over) was as lucky. Praise be to Our Lorde JC for my irresistible charm...

Closing in on Marathon (or as Clint Eastwood would say, "company's comin'")


Company's comin' panoramic style.