Provincetown

So, I've been laying low here in Ptown for the last few days, catching up on sleep and sun, and have barely anything to report because Mr. Adam Levy and I embarked on a 48hr sobriety challenge on Tuesday and I was scared I would blow it if I went out. I know myself well enough to know that the odds of me refusing a "Sex in the Dunes" that some gay boy bought for me because he thinks I'm "outrageous" are slim to none. I did find a nice restaurant for dinner one night that had a whole list of "mocktails", but I'm here to tell you that a "Safe Sex on the Beach" does not measure up in any way, shape or form to a "Sex on the Beach" or a "Sex in the Dunes", let alone a nice small batch bourbon.

The sobriety challenge was definitely not fun, but it did come in handy when I bumped into a girl I wasn't that into (whom I met at the salon earlier that day) on Commercial St and after chatting me up for a bit, she asked if I wanted to continue our conversation over a drink. I could honestly say, after a little pang of panic because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, "oh, sorry, I can't. I'm right in the middle of a 48hr sobriety challenge, maybe some other time..." After taking a few seconds to process that response, she finally came back with, "oh, okay, well maybe when you're done with the, um, challenge..." and gave me her card. Pretty sure she's still wondering if I just made up the whole 48hr sobriety challenge thing to get out of having a drink with her.

I also met a very nice lesbian from Pittsburgh at the salon because when I heard her say she was from Pittsburgh, I couldn't resist telling her that I had just come from there myself (though I made the trip about 3hrs faster ;-)). She told me that it was her first time in Ptown and that she made the trip with her girlfriend and another lesbian couple, prompting me to ask if they had found the lesbian beach. She immediately clammed up, turned red and stared at the ground for a minute before taking a deep breath and letting it all out...

Apparently, she had gotten her gay beach info from a gay boy who had only been to Ptown once before and so sent her to the naked gay boy beach via the infamous dunes that all the boys hike through, stopping for a quick sexual encounter on the way to and from the beach. Suffice to say, they heard things they never wanted to hear and saw things they never wanted to see and were so completely traumatized when it was all over, that the next day they drove directly to the straight beach and never wanted to go to a gay beach again. "Didn't you think that there must be some other beach for lesbians?" I asked, pointing out that "three quarters of the 200+lb lesbians in this town would pass out from exertion before they ever got to that beach." After she granted me that point, I gave her the goods on how to get to the lesbian beach (not to be confused with the naked gay boy beach) and after clarifying that people wore bathing suits on the lesbian beach and nobody would be having sex within earshot, she thanked me profusely and vowed to check it out the next day.

I did finally venture out last night and ended up at a club with the classic Ptown raging queen bartender, who when I ordered a knob creek on the rocks (not one of my very favorites, but best they had), gave me a big wink and sashayed away to get the bottle. Then he sashayed back, poured me a single, then paused to give me another big wink before he kept on pouring until the glass was filled to the brim. When he set the drink down in front of me, with another big wink as he quickly slid his hand up my arm and squeezed my bicep, he assured me, "I love a girl who knows what she wants!" It took all my self-restraint not to respond, "Really? Do you? Really? Because I find that hard to believe...Mr. spaghetti strap tank top, I really do." Instead, I just gave him a big tip and a wink back...didn't want to alienate him before he poured my second drink.

Probably heading home in the near future. I'll let you know when I get there.

Long Point Lighthouse at the very tip of Cape Cod (had to hike across the lesbian beach, the clothed gay boy beach, the naked gay boy beach and stare down a couple lookouts for the boys in the dunes to get this picture--by the time I got here I was so tired and thirsty I had to turn around)

Ellie-"78 years young and living [his/her] dreams" belting out his/her best "New York, New York" on Commercial Street. Not half bad, drew quite the little crowd on the street.

Dina Martina, on Commercial St promoting his/her 9pm show. Funniest comedian I have ever seen and a Ptown institution (though he/she does gigs in NYC, LA & London and has all kinds of famous comedian fans, like whoopi goldberg). The first time I saw his/her show, I couldn't sit up in bed for a couple days after because my abdominal muscles were so tweaked out from laughing so hard for so long (literally had to roll over and do a push up and drag my knees under me so I was kneeling to get out of bed). There was also a fair amount of crying and maybe a little peeing in my pants involved...

Having a drink on the deck of my favorite restaurant while the moon rises over Provincetown Harbor (that white dot on the horizon is the Long Point Lighthouse)

Madison to Pittsburgh

Just quickly filling you in on the last couple days because I am trying to cover as much ground as I can today in the direction of Provincetown.

I made it to Chicago in one piece, but it was the wildest drive of my life--black sky in the early afternoon, torrential rain, sustained 45 mph winds blowing across the highway and gusting up to 75 (sending tractor trailers with light loads swinging into other lanes and off the road), steady stream of garbage (cans, bottles, tarps, flip-flops) flying through the air slamming into my windshield and ricocheting off my car, truckers screaming like hysterical girls on the CB about losing control of their rigs or hearing a tornado touched down...chaos. When my CB/weather scanner confirmed the tornado and hail warnings I had heard the truckers screaming about, I decided to get to a gas station and take cover and spent the next hour and a half there with some other stranded people while a steady stream of people filed through the door to be told that there were no services--no power, no gas, couldn't sell anything because the registers wouldn't open, etc. Good times. When the sky finally lightened up again and it looked pretty clear that the front had passed, I made my way to Chicago to find Adam.

I was sworn to secrecy about most of our weekend together and the stories Adam had to share about life on the road with the Eagles tour and his long stint (3 albums and 3 world tours) with Norah Jones as we caught up on ten years of each others lives. I will say that we had an amazing 48 hours, hitting the most famous steakhouses, strip bars and deep dish places in the city, catching Keith Urban and the Dixie Chicks (wouldn't have said I was a huge fan of either, but they both rocked live) before leaving the show Saturday night for dinner with the band, after which we ended up crashing a very elegant wedding at the Drake Hotel...really? nobody wants to know who invited the kids in the skinny jeans, black shirts and leather cuffs?

Dragged myself out of bed (in more than a little bit of pain) around noon on Sunday and after coffee with Adam, hit the road bound for Pittsburgh because this guy who follows my blog on Planet-9 offered to give me a little tour of the city. Made decent time from Chicago to Pittsburgh (about 6hrs and 45mins) mostly because there were no cops on the road. I didn't think much of it until I heard these two truckers chatting about the lack of cops on the CB and one explained to the other that it was because they were all home trying to get their annual Father's Day BJ...huh...here I was thinking they were all home spending quality time with their kids...so naive...

Headed for Provincetown and a few days of R&R in the sun, can't wait.

JD and the Straight Shot opening for the Eagles 2010 tour at Soldier Field...and a blow up of Mr. Adam Levy's guitar while he rocked his solo--some things never change.  

Rendezvous with Mr. Pittsburgh.

 

Dinner at Primanti Bros--a must hit (a) if you like fries, cold slaw and a heap of melted cheese in the middle of your sandwich and (b) even if you don't because it's just an institution in this town.

Downtown Pittsburgh from Mt. Washington--the tallest building you see is the US Steel Tower, the tallest building in downtown Pittsburgh and the 35th tallest in the US.