Friday I woke up early and drove to the North entrance of Yellowstone, all the way through the park, out the South entrance and halfway through Grand Teton Nat'l Park. When I finally checked into a lodge and hit the bar around 10, I immediately made friends with this awesome bartender (let's call him D) who tried to prove his love by setting me up with the only lesbian he knew of in the park. As soon as he got cut for the night (after begging a little) he disappeared for about an hour before re-emerging and sliding onto the stool next to me a little sheepishly, explaining that he had just had one of the most awkward moments of his life. Turns out he had gone over to where this supposed lesbo was working that night, dragged her away from the customers she was serving and proceeded to gush to her in front of all her co-workers and some customers that he had found the woman of her dreams, hottest, coolest lesbian ever, he wants to marry me, but I'm only into girls, etc. Whereupon, after a long awkward pause, she says, "um, I'm actually straight." His reply: "oh, yeah, okay, cool, yeah, okay, nevermind (that we all thought you were a lesbian and have for years)."
A couple whiskeys and "duck farts" (fyi crown and baileys) later, the phone at the bar rings and the bartender hands it to D who I hear saying, "yup, she's sitting right next to me." When he puts down the phone, he recounts the following conversation to me:
Non-lesbo: "Is that hot lesbian still at the bar?"
D: "yup, she's sitting right next to me."
Non-lesbo to her lesbonic roommate: "Get dressed! Get! Dressed!"
Apparently, they don't get many single lesbos rolling through this park. Shortly after these two girls appeared at the bar 10mins later, we moved the party back to the parkie dorms (where all the people who work in the park live) at D's insistence because, according to D, it's against the law for non-park employees to be on the premises. He was so excited that we were doing something illegal that I could blog about, I didn't have the heart to break it to him that sneaking into the parkie dorm was by far the most soft-core illegality I have engaged in this entire trip...
When I woke up, a little hungover and very sleep-deprived, yesterday morning, I set off on a scenic drive that a guy at the bar suggested the night before (southeast to Riverton, through Boysen State Park to Thermopolis, then up through Bighorn Nat'l Forest to Buffalo) and then picked up 90 in Buffalo and took it across Wyoming, hoping to end up somewhere near Mt. Rushmore for the night. I ended up in Deadwood (this little town filled with cowboys and bikers just drinking and gambling 24-7) after I got a little lost in the Black Hills around 10pm (because the power outlet in my car died so Mrs. Garmin was offering no guidance whatsoever) and started thinking I should just find somewhere to sleep. My plan was to catch up on sleep and give my liver a night off, but then I ended up grabbing a late dinner at the bar nextdoor, where I met these awesome guys from Bismark, ND and somehow ended up getting incorporated into their bar hopping bachelor party, including a stop at Saloon #10 where Wild Bill Hickok was shot in the back of the head holding his pairs of aces and eights (hence "Dead Man's hand").
I have to stop writing now because I have to go find some caffeine to make my head stop pounding and I have to go find Mt. Rushmore with no help at all from Mrs. Garmin. Wish me luck.
P.S. For those of you who have emailed me asking for bigger pictures, you just click on the pic and it blows up to full size...like magic.
Leaving Glacier
Wide Open (cop-free) Spaces in Montana
Bob and Paul touring Yellowstone in their 1914 Cadillac
Bison and a Geyser Field in Yellowstone
Entering Grand Teton Nat'l Park on a foggy, rainy night
The Tetons in the morning
A nice chunk of the Teton Range
I bet these kids wish they had sprung for some heated seats now...
Somewhere in Wyoming
Driving the Granite Pass through Bighorn National Forest
Ketch, this looks absolutely amazing. I've driven out West a few time but obviously I've missed some kick-ass spots. The peaceful serenity must be such a welcome change from costal life. You should post a map of your journey with all your hotspots marked. So how's the Car holding up? Any issues or just smooth sailing?
ReplyDeleteLooks like lots of snow in some of those pictures. I hope you are driving carefully!
ReplyDeleteanother great story. is this going to become a script?
ReplyDeletefound you via a friend's fb post, laughed out loud reading your blog. Love the humor, the pictures, the CAR and the adventures. Especially love the fact that a fellow recovering lawyer escaped the rat race. Good luck- you've got another fan.
ReplyDeleteThis is maybe my favorite email from someone I've met along the way:
ReplyDeleteDear Ketch,
I got connected today and used your card you gave us to see the photo of my son and I that you posted on your site. I also see that you snapped another photo of us yesterday as you passed us going over the snowy Togwotee Pass. Yes, at the time we may have appreciated heated seats however; in reality, driving a wide open car relatively slowly is a tremendous way to really see the country.
We are spending three weeks travelling in Wyoming and Colorado together with a group of a dozen other cars built prior to 1914. We will cover over 2500 miles.
Involved with the car hobby and business for many years including owning and driving many go-fast cars including Porsche, Ferrari, Maserati, Shelby, etc., I too have done many high-speed (and low-speed) road trips Your “Driving with Gusto” name is awesome and I hope that you may get the opportunity as I have to appreciate the variety and diversity with which you can achieve gusto in motoring.
You may appreciate the following titled “Somewhere West of Laramie”:
SOMEWHERE west of Laramie there's a bronco-busting, steer roping girl who knows what I’m talking about. She can tell what a sassy pony, that’s a cross between greased lighting and the place where it hits, can do with eleven hundred pounds of steel and action when he's going high, wide and handsome. The truth is - the Playboy was built for her. Built for the lass whose, face is brown with the sun when the day is done of revel and romp and race. She loves the cross of the wild and the tame. There's a savor of links about that car - of laughter and lilt and light - a hint of old loves - and saddle and quirt. It’s a brawny thing - yet a graceful thing for the sweep o' the Avenue. Step into the Playboy when the hour grows dull with things gone dead and stale. Then start for the land of real living with the spirit of the lass who rides, lean and rangy, into the red horizon of a Wyoming twilight.
The above is from an Advertisement that appeared in 1923 and is considered by folks in the Advertising industry amongst the top 10. It is touting the Jordon Playboy automobile.
I hope you are enjoying your adventure and perhaps the next time we meet will be at a track (preferably Road America which is my favorite).
Bob