Glacier to Deadwood, SD

Just woke up in Deadwood, SD having covered a lot of ground the last few days. I spent Thursday driving from Glacier to Missoula, following a gorgeous scenic route that this woman I met the night before (when I pulled over for a drink at the Two Sisters Cafe just outside St. Mary) wrote out for me carefully noting all the reservation roads where the cops aren't allowed to patrol and don't have the authority to issue speeding tickets. Fabulous.

Friday I woke up early and drove to the North entrance of Yellowstone, all the way through the park, out the South entrance and halfway through Grand Teton Nat'l Park. When I finally checked into a lodge and hit the bar around 10, I immediately made friends with this awesome bartender (let's call him D) who tried to prove his love by setting me up with the only lesbian he knew of in the park. As soon as he got cut for the night (after begging a little) he disappeared for about an hour before re-emerging and sliding onto the stool next to me a little sheepishly, explaining that he had just had one of the most awkward moments of his life. Turns out he had gone over to where this supposed lesbo was working that night, dragged her away from the customers she was serving and proceeded to gush to her in front of all her co-workers and some customers that he had found the woman of her dreams, hottest, coolest lesbian ever, he wants to marry me, but I'm only into girls, etc. Whereupon, after a long awkward pause, she says, "um, I'm actually straight." His reply: "oh, yeah, okay, cool, yeah, okay, nevermind (that we all thought you were a lesbian and have for years)."

A couple whiskeys and "duck farts" (fyi crown and baileys) later, the phone at the bar rings and the bartender hands it to D who I hear saying, "yup, she's sitting right next to me." When he puts down the phone, he recounts the following conversation to me:
Non-lesbo: "Is that hot lesbian still at the bar?"
D: "yup, she's sitting right next to me."
Non-lesbo to her lesbonic roommate: "Get dressed! Get! Dressed!"
Apparently, they don't get many single lesbos rolling through this park. Shortly after these two girls appeared at the bar 10mins later, we moved the party back to the parkie dorms (where all the people who work in the park live) at D's insistence because, according to D, it's against the law for non-park employees to be on the premises. He was so excited that we were doing something illegal that I could blog about, I didn't have the heart to break it to him that sneaking into the parkie dorm was by far the most soft-core illegality I have engaged in this entire trip...

When I woke up, a little hungover and very sleep-deprived, yesterday morning, I set off on a scenic drive that a guy at the bar suggested the night before (southeast to Riverton, through Boysen State Park to Thermopolis, then up through Bighorn Nat'l Forest to Buffalo) and then picked up 90 in Buffalo and took it across Wyoming, hoping to end up somewhere near Mt. Rushmore for the night. I ended up in Deadwood (this little town filled with cowboys and bikers just drinking and gambling 24-7) after I got a little lost in the Black Hills around 10pm (because the power outlet in my car died so Mrs. Garmin was offering no guidance whatsoever) and started thinking I should just find somewhere to sleep. My plan was to catch up on sleep and give my liver a night off, but then I ended up grabbing a late dinner at the bar nextdoor, where I met these awesome guys from Bismark, ND and somehow ended up getting incorporated into their bar hopping bachelor party, including a stop at Saloon #10 where Wild Bill Hickok was shot in the back of the head holding his pairs of aces and eights (hence "Dead Man's hand").

I have to stop writing now because I have to go find some caffeine to make my head stop pounding and I have to go find Mt. Rushmore with no help at all from Mrs. Garmin. Wish me luck.

P.S. For those of you who have emailed me asking for bigger pictures, you just click on the pic and it blows up to full size...like magic.

Leaving Glacier

Wide Open (cop-free) Spaces in Montana

Bob and Paul touring Yellowstone in their 1914 Cadillac

Bison and a Geyser Field in Yellowstone

Entering Grand Teton Nat'l Park on a foggy, rainy night

The Tetons in the morning

A nice chunk of the Teton Range

I bet these kids wish they had sprung for some heated seats now...

Somewhere in Wyoming

Driving the Granite Pass through Bighorn National Forest

Seattle to Glacier National Park

In St. Mary, MT. Just pulled over to share some pics because I seem to be getting one little bar of cell reception here having had pretty much no reception since I left Spokane. The super quick recap: left Seattle and spent the afternoon working my way through back roads up to Wenatchee (the "apple capital of the world"), did one wine tasting there and then another at Tsillan Cellars on Lake Chelan (really enjoyed literally every wine I tasted here, their ridiculous medal count makes perfect sense to me), then worked my way along gorgeous farm roads all the way to Spokane where I crashed for the night.

Yesterday I left Spokane headed for Glacier, got off 90 as soon as I could to work my way up to the west entrance of the park on more scenic roads. Unfortunately the road from the west side of the park to the east wasn't open yet, so I had to go back out and work my way along 2 to 89 up to the many glacier entrance. Glad I did though because I found my favorite bar of all time on 2, the stanton creek lodge, which is basically a bar along the wall of someone's livingroom--coziest bar ever. When the owner got out of his lazy-boy, where he was watching some fox news while he worked his way through a bag of chips, to come over and chat with me (seemed like the polite thing to do since I was the only person sitting in his livingroom with him), he was full of totally entertaining stories from when he used to be a cop in Southern CA, including a story about being in a police chase with Patty Hearst and how she ended up getting away. Would give you the blow by blow, but I am so cramped typing in this car and tired of people staring at me because they apparently don't get many Porsches up here. So, I'll just share these pics and get back on the road...

Wenatchee: "Apple Capital of the World"

This is the 3rd deer I had to dodge on Rt. 2. The first two disappeared immediately, but this one could not stop checking out my car if its little life depended on it...

Entering the Blackfeet Indian Reservation, going to the heart of it today and was adamantly warned against going into any of the bars. Apparently white people are really not welcome and it can get very ugly very quickly, so don't think I'll chance it.

Driving up 89 toward the Park

Climbing higher...

Beyond Beautiful--this is the most awe-inspiring park I have seen this whole trip

I would show you the rest of my car, but it's too dirty :-(

Check out that ribbon of road...adored this drive.

Night closing in, my surroundings getting even more beautiful by the minute...

Girl Stories from Seattle

For all the guys who have emailed me wanting me to share more stories about my girl-related escapades, the following recap of my last two nights in Seattle is for you...

Saturday night I went out to the one full time lesbian bar in Seattle and as I walked in, immediately noticed this table of hot femmes checking me out. After about an hour of checking each other out, I finally went over and said hi. Turns out the two hottest girls (one blond and one brunette) are both professional dancers (and both swedish), so we started talking about modern dance and the next thing I knew they were demanding that I show them my best martha graham moves, which I did...to some hip hop song...in the middle of this lesbian bar with all these super butch girls with facial piercing and multi-colored hair looking at me like I was the crazy one.... At any rate, the hot dancers were duly impressed with my little modern dance show and proceeded to drag me to the dance floor promising to teach me some complicated swing moves so I can blow the kids away at my sister's wedding this fall.

It didn't take long (3 martinis at the most) before I got caught in a bit of a tug of war between the two hotties, with the brunette grabbing me and pulling me back from the blond every time the blond pulled me away to teach me a move, promising to teach me "a better one." Eventually the brunette's persistence won out and we ended up back at my hotel (after she ran off the blond and jumped in my cab uninvited). However, by the time we got there, I was totally over this girl (after spending the entire cab ride fending her off while explaining to her that I don't really like aggressive girls) and I broke it to her that she wasn't coming up to my room with me, which did not go over well at all (the recap: crazy girl clings to me all the way through the lobby begging me to let her come up to my room, then pretends to be okay with leaving before spinning on her heel and taking a flying leap onto my elevator just before the doors closed so she could get up to my floor). When she sat down in the hall on my floor and refused to leave for the tenth time, I decided to go for a little walk hoping she would be gone when I got back.

Just when I was coming back after a 30min tour of downtown seattle at 3am, this girl comes walking out, sees me and starts sprinting towards me screaming, "why are you doing this to me???" "I think I could fall in love with you!!!" "Just talk to me!!!" um, yeah, I spent the next 5mins sprinting through downtown with this girl chasing after me, screaming her case about how "amazing we could be together" until I finally got far enough ahead of her that I could dart down an alley without her seeing, which I did and stayed hidden behind a garbage can there for 20mins before I worked up the courage to check the street for any sign of her. When it seemed like the coast was clear, I worked my way back to my hotel along a totally obscure route, poking my head around each corner to check for her before I proceeded. Good times...

As for last night, I went back to the same bar (because I like to live dangerously) and ended up telling this whole story to this really cute (and seemingly sane) girl sitting next to me. When she finally stopped laughing, she insisted on buying a bourbon for each of us and invited me to move outside to the patio with her. While we were out there, this pack of girls, including a few that we had been talking to inside, stopped by to tell us they were going to another bar. The conversation quickly turned to my blog and how I had to go to Portland and do a little tour of those establishments that Portland is so famous for. I told them I had seen what Portland had to offer and wasn't impressed. After a 3min summary of all the disappointing establishments I had been to, a hottie in the back of the pack outed herself as a dancer (to the shock of her friends who had no idea) and offered to come to my hotel and give me the greatest LD of my life. Then she started rattling off in great detail all the tricks she could do (more than a few involved placement and removal of lollipops with no hands). Tough call...the smart, cute, wholesome, idealistic, law school bound girl...or your very own private dancer? In the end, I stuck with my sweet non-dancer (though I got the private dancer's number just in case) and I was glad I did because it turned out that she had some pretty fabulous tricks too...she just wasn't the kind of girl who would brag about them...

Portland to Seattle with my Planet-9 Posse

Just sharing some pics of our fantastic group drive yesterday that took me from Portland to Seattle. I met up with this posse of guys (and a couple wives), who have been following my blog on Planet-9, just over the river in Vancouver, WA. Then we headed south on 5 to pick up 26 west, which we took to 103 to 202 west into Astoria OR, where we grabbed lunch and saw the Astoria Column. Then we picked up the 101 and took it up to 8 east, which we took into Olympia for a quick photo op at the capital before finally splitting up in Tacoma so we could all get home before dark. Awesome drive, awesome day.

Beef Jerky!!! Someone is following my beef jerky and push-up recipe for body perfection, but I won't mention any names...

I asked for a top removal demonstration (the car kind, not the other kind). Have to say this car is beyond sexy and the sport exhaust sounded amazing, but I wouldn't want to be putting this top on in the rain on the side of the road by myself, um, ever....

We briefly contemplated negotiating a group rate for oral surgery, but in the end decided to just get on the road.

Passed our adorable little vintage friend on the road and he joined our posse for a while. Best view I have had in my rearview mirror this whole trip, nothing but a train of beautiful Porsches behind me with this guy bringing up the rear. I will never forget that view.

At Astoria Column. I would show you a pic of the column, but our cars are so much prettier...

Chasing down my boys while taking their picture--Safety first!

About to put down my camera and burst past them both, not just because I am a compulsively competitive little bastard with more horsepower, but also because I was the only one with a K40 and I'm thoughtful like that...

Made it to Olympia just as the sun was going down. As soon as we parked (where we totally weren't allowed to be) this trooper swooped up and started questioning us. None of the guys seemed to know what to say, so I took the lead and explained that we were "on a roadtrip." The trooper nodded and responded, "roadtrip, huh? Make it quick" and drove off.  If there is one thing I have learned on this trip, it is that if you are ever potentially in trouble with the law, just tell the law that you are on a roadtrip. Seriously, whatever it is-felony reckless driving, dui, illegal trespassing...just tell them you are on a roadtrip and the response will no doubt be something like, "roadtrip huh? Why didn't you say so?" every single time...

Mendocino to Portland

I am in Portland now. I left foggy, rainy Mendocino yesterday morning headed for Eureka (via Rt.1 to the 101). When I got to Eureka (where I was contemplating spending the night), the rain had picked up and wasn't supposed to let up until this afternoon, so (after some barbequed oysters and chowder) I decided to keep trucking to Portland (via 101 up the coast to 199 east through Six Rivers Nat'l Forest to 5) so I could get here one night earlier than planned and be in the same hotel for two nights in a row. A very exciting notion these days...totally worth twelve hours of driving in the pouring rain. The rain was coming down so hard for the last few hours before I hit Portland that I couldn't see the road most of the time, but I just kept telling myself, if there is a big truck in front of me (blinding me with water spray), I must be in a lane...

This afternoon I visited the Lan Su Chinese Garden and had Jamaica on the brain the entire time I was there, mostly because while I resisted the "flower freak" label she tried to stick me with our final night together, I can't really deny it anymore. My moment of truth was at the Peony blossom exhibit when I found myself taking close-ups of my favorite blossoms without anyone forcing me to. When Jamaica and I were on the road together, I was all about my scenic and/or car shots and would only take close-ups of blossoms when Jamaica dragged me over by my elbow and made me do it.

As I took shot after shot of my favorite blossoms this afternoon, I couldn't help remembering our last night together when we rolled in the door around midnight (after the showdown with ice, ice baby) and I immediately sat down in her living room and started tearing through each of her flower books to come up with the names of the only two flowers we had seen our entire trip that she didn't know the names of. After I had done my frenzied page flipping through one book, then another, then another, I looked over and saw a fourth flower book in her lap and said (probably with a little crazy in my eyes), "are you done with that? Can I have that? I need to look at that." She looked over at me slowly with one eyebrow raised and said, "well, my dear, I think you've become a bit of a flower freak." To which I immediately responded (enjoying a nice big scoop of denial with a little bit of rationalizing sprinkled on top), "No, I'm not! You're the flower freak around here, not me. I'm just a curious person. I just don't like not knowing things." Prompting her to inquire (still studying my slightly crazed face with one eyebrow raised), "Really, sweetie? Really? Because you seem very much like a flower freak to me. You look like a flower freak (gesturing to the flower books strewn around me), you're acting like a flower freak (I think she was basing this on my refusal to go to bed until I figured out the names)..."

Finally, I cracked (though I told myself I was just appeasing her), "Fine, fine, I'm a flower freak. Now will you just help me? Please?" Satisfied that she had made her point she took a couple of the books back and we spent over an hour reading through them all to no avail because these two flowers weren't in any of the books. We finally gave up and went to bed, but first thing in the morning she got the names from a friend...because she's devoted like that. So, I am posting two pics of my two favorite peony blossoms because I know they will put a smile on her face...and because, thanks to Jamaica, I am a certifiable (probably in more ways than one) flower freak.

Hall of Brocade Clouds (houses the Peony exhibit)

Peonies and Poetry

More Peonies...

"Cora Louise"

"Color Magnet"

For those of you who prefer redwoods to peonies, this is the redwood I drove through in Leggett...

...and these are some redwoods that I drove past as I worked my way through the Prairie Creek Redwoods State Park (via scenic old 101 north of Orick)

On the 101 somewhere between Eureka and Crescent City (where I picked up 199)

San Francisco to Napa to Mendocino

Just walked into my hotel in Mendocino and definitely feel like I walked into an episode of Murder She Wrote. From the rocky coastal scenery outside that I grew up seeing on that show every week to the clusters of elderly locals, all bundled up in wooly sweaters, having cocktails at the bar while they gossip in hushed voices...it's pretty surreal. I have to say though, that I still don't understand how it never seemed to bother people through all those seasons of Murder She Wrote that the ocean was on the wrong side of the coastal scenes. The sun doesn't set over the ocean in Maine, kids (in no small part because the ocean is off the east coast of Maine). Never has, never will. You heard it here first.

Now that I got that off my chest, let's back up. I ended up spending an extra night in San Francisco and after hitting Cafe Tartine in the mission Tuesday morning, where I had the greatest ham and cheese croissant I have ever had (there are no words...), I headed for Napa.

By the time I checked into a B&B in town and headed out to do a couple tastings, I was starving. So, I hit V. Sattui first because I heard it had a great deli, which it does, though the wines I tasted were unremarkable. Then I made a pilgrimage to Charles Krug (where Robert and Peter Mondavi both started out before their big feud sent Robert packing). I was glad to hear that they made up in '06, two years before Robert passed away. As for the wine, I tasted about 7 Family Reserve and Limited Release wines (all reds) and they were all interesting and high quality, but none of them really measured up to my favorite Italian wines (example--'99 Barbi Brunello Di Montalcino--I like my reds fairly dry and acidic with just as much emphasis on earthiness as fruitiness and I only like a really full bodied wine if the body factor is all about packing in as many nuances as possible rather than simplistic heaviness in the mouth). That said, my favorite wine at Krug was the 2006 Limited Release X Clones (100% cabernet, only 450 cases produced) because it had such a smooth and refined, but very firm, structure and a nice acidity that genuinely made me wish I had a steak to go with it. The only California wines that I like as much as my favorite Italian wines (and a couple French--not many French faves though because so many good French wines are overpriced, particularly compared to their Italian counterparts) are from Shafer, but their tastings are booked at least a month in advance, so doing a tasting at Shafer was not an option because I am not remotely that organized.

Today, after pounding a couple iced coffees and a scone at Napa Valley Coffee Roasters (great coffee), I headed to Mumm to do a sparkling wine tasting. I was going to hit Beringer for a tasting too, but it never happened because I was having too much fun at Mumm sipping 5 different sparkling wines on a beautiful sunny patio looking over the vineyards while munching on dried fruit and nuts and crackers and returning a big chunk of calls that needed returning. I also strolled through this great photography exhibit they have up until the end of September--Paris Icons by James Scholz, which made me miss Paris so much that I renewed my little vow to myself that I would get there twice a year no matter what.  I was there for a week in March (seems so long ago), so I just have to get there once more this year to be in good standing with myself.

After I left Napa, I made my way to Mendocino via 116 through the Russian River Valley and up the coast on Rt. 1. The stretch of Rt.1 from Jenner to Mendocino is my third favorite stretch of road so far-basically one big roller coaster ride with its never-ending switchbacks combined with stomach-dropping dips and climbs all the way. Added bonus--everyone had very good etiquette and pulled over to get out of my way as fast as they could when they saw me fly up behind them. Just one gorgeous stretch of road with nothing but team players on it. Fabulous. The downside was that I didn't stop to take any pics because I didn't want to make everyone I had already passed pull over for me again because I was feeling all this peer pressure to be a team player. I will try to focus more on picture taking and less on being a team player tomorrow. That is my promise to you.

San Francisco through the Golden Gate Bridge

A freight ship passing the Point Bonita Lighthouse as it leaves San Francisco Bay

Rodeo Beach

Two comparison tastings at Mumm (the Santana came later): (1) The slightly sweet tasting--Cuvee M v. Demi Sec and (2) The sparkling red tasting--Sparkling Pinot Noir v. Cuvee M Red (96% pinot noir and 4% syrah).  I was a big fan of the Cuvee M Red and now I can't wait to get home and order some so my mimosas can be prettier than everybody else's. That's right, you heard me, I said it.

Quick Update from San Francisco

For those of you who emailed me wanting to know where I am at the moment, that would be San Francisco. Yesterday my friend S and I drove up here from Palo Alto nursing brutal little hangovers after a night of Korean BBQ and Korean karaoke with the Knight Journalism Fellows at Stanford. The beginning of our demise was when the owner of the Korean karaoke place heard that these journalism fellows were in the house and was so honored that he sent a complimentary bottle of scotch to our private room. Given that I was the only scotch drinker in the crew and that wasting liquor is completely against my religion, my wildly hungover fate was pretty much sealed. S could have saved herself, but being the devoted friend that she is, agreed to help me finish the bottle (she knows how important my religion is to me) and so suffered the same fate. We nursed coffee and water all the way to the Cliff House overlooking Ocean Beach where we could start nursing alcohol again over lunch. Once we had enough alcohol in our systems to carry on, we did a little driving tour of the city, complete with a trip down Lombard Street, before I dropped her at the train station.

As for today, I spent it walking through Chinatown (stopping to fortify myself with a little dim sum), little Italy, Ghirardelli Square, the Aquatic Park, Fisherman's Wharf and eventually back downtown via the Embarcadero. Late for a date in the Castro right now. My itinerary for the next few days (for those of you who like to know where I am at all times) has me here for one more night, then off to Napa/Sonoma, Mendocino and Eureka before meeting up with a posse of Caymans and Spyders in Portland on Saturday.

Seemed to be a little miscommunication with the woman who ran this "cocktail lounge" in Chinatown when she came outside after seeing me take this picture. Her: "Yes? Yes?" (pointing emphatically at the cocktail that comes with the plastic little girl on top); Me: "No, no"; Her: "Yes? Yes?" Me: "No, really, no." Not totally positive what she was selling, but somehow totally positive that I didn't want to buy it.

This is how you spell Jack Kerouac in Chinese. Don't say I never taught you anything...

Alcatraz from Municipal Pier

The Golden Gate Bridge from Municipal Pier